Sooo.....

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Well, we still have no news from Services Canada. 

It's actually easier to 'wait' over the weekend. When we know we are not meant to hear anything we can just get on with living and do our best to enjoy the days. Sunshine and playgrounds and family time. Lovely.
Last night I felt the stress levels rise in my body in anticipation. Today is Tuesday night in Canada and we could have woken up to an email from the lawyer this morning. Could have.

Instead we woke to silence. Again.

By the time Mr Poppet has checked his emails in the morning, he has a tension headache which settles in for the rest of the week. He has to turn up to work and field the constant question "any news?" and attempt to do a productive day of work in an office he should have left a month ago.
This truly is a bizarre time. We are in contact with various real estate agents and landlords in Toronto as we attempt to secure housing. They ask us when we're likely to be in Toronto. We just don't have an answer.

These government departments with their red tape and their unwillingness to say anything more than it's "in process" are messing with people's lives. There must be hundreds of people around the world in similar circumstances to us. We are all drifting from moment to moment, unable to plan or make any real progress.

Our life is certainly that way at the moment. A mess. 

Husband is now doing the hour and a half commute to and from work every day via various means of public transport (he usually rides a pushbike). Poppet and I are spending the days finding things to do. She is no longer in school (though a break from that is really ok, she's exhausted) and clings to me throughout the day. She is literally clinging to my right arm as I type these words. I haven't touched a sewing machine in months and am feeling very unproductive and frustrated.

Boy am I glad I started this blog. Who knew I would need it just to vent!

We have done this expat thing before, but haven't experienced such a crazy backwards way of doing things. We didn't expect to be living with family for more than a few days and we're halfway through week two. In fact, 'family' have gone on a holiday to Europe and we are living in their house without them.

Poppet and I are off to the zoo today. I just can't handle seeing any familiar faces. I can't handle being asked if there's "any news" and I need to pretend that we are just on holidays. When we lived in Brazil and the stress and unfamiliarity became too much I would send the nanny home early, shut the blinds and put on a Disney movie. I would pretend I was back home, just watching a movie with my kid. Not in some crazy foreign country, speaking a different language all day and struggling to find a vegetable peeler! This is how I feel right now. I want to find a cardboard box and climb inside until the whole thing blows over.

I can fool myself for a while. But the whole thing starts again as the sun sets and we anticipate an email in the morning.

When will this ever end? Your guess is as good as mine.

J.