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Welcome to the Workshop

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Birds and The Bees

Yep, we've had "the talk".
It has come to my attention recently that my kid has been making some of this stuff up on her own.
She hasn't witnessed the birth of a sibling, nor has she ever caught me in the bathroom at 'that time of the month', so a lot of these conversations have been avoided. Not on purpose, they just haven't come up.
About two years ago a friend had a C-section which prompted Poppet to explain to me how babies are cut of their Mummy's tummies. I had to tell the poor lamb that most children do not come out of an incision in their mother's stomachs (though that seems to be changing) and that one day she may be required to push a baby through her own vagina. You can imagine the horror that ensued! She did also look at me with profound respect for at least a few hours...
And so a few years went by. She seemed perfectly content with the knowledge of how babies came out, and never showed any interest in how they 'got in'. I kept waiting for her curiosity to spike but it didn't.
Recently, however, she announced to me that she didn't want to get breasts when she grew up as she didn't want to have a baby. I told her that these things aren't really connected and spent a few weeks hunting down just the right book to help me explain the good old 'birds and bees' to her, once and for all.
I have noticed that her peers range greatly from delightful innocence to waaaay too much discussion about kissing boys and playing kiss chasey for my liking. I mean, year one?! Whatever.
I was determined to get in there with the correct (but appropriate) information before some little darling filled her head with nonsense. A book is always the best technique with my kid, she gives them such respect (bless) and it is also helpful to have something on hand which she can refer back to whenever she fancies.
Whilst I reminisced my own special time spent with "Where Did I Come From?", which is still available to purchase, I wanted something with a bit more heft and science. Then I stumbled across this book...

image via here

"It's NOT the Stork" by Robie H. Harris. It's a great book, with heaps of illustrations showing the difference between boys and girls, the development of babies etc. Poppet is nearly 8, loves comics and picture books and so really has connected with this book. The story is told by a bird and a bee, who giggle when children reading are likely to giggle (a lot) and generally make it much more accessible and fun.
You can read lots of parent reviews of this book here.
This book helped to make our chat comfortable and fun. It has opened the door to more conversation and questions and that was exactly what I was after. Poppet has been quick to make sure that you don't HAVE to let your eggs connect with someone else's sperm. I reassured her that there are plenty of ways to make sure that never happens. Starting with not messing around with any birds or bees until you are at least 30!

Have you had the 'talk'? How did it go?


  1. I've been trying to find the right book too - this might be it - thanks!

    1. i highly recommend it kate, it does all the work for you!

  2. Bless you, that made me giggle and felt really proud of both you and poppet for having 'the conversation'. You are raising such a great girl, who will grow up to be a confident young woman. THANK YOU for letting poppet know that babies are not inevitable simply because she is female. I see so many parents pigeonhole their little girls into 'marriage and babies' while they are just toddlers...joking about them marrying friend's boys etc. Might all be harmless fun to a parent, but we are building expectations without knowing it. If I had a child I would hope I would be 'your kind' of mum xx

    1. fortunately we know some amazing women who've chosen not to have babies and they can be held up as fine examples to follow. i just want my kid to know it's her body, her choice. thanks for making me feel good, it is pretty weird being a parent and moulding a small adult-in-the-making. plenty of stumbling and backwards motion, but days like today help to make me feel like i'm on the right track...


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