I Think That's Just About Enough Of That Now...

Oh goody, on the way home from town today...

Flat. Tyre. On. Freeway.

Yep.

He fixed it in 20 minutes because he's clever like that. But I think that's just about enough now, it's time for good luck to assert itself in our lives.

J.

Monkey Business

How do you judge a good playground?

Well, for me it is always nice if there's some shade, somewhere to sit, lots of nature and good coffee nearby.

And for Poppet? There's only one thing that counts. 

Monkey bars!

  

She's been working on these callouses for a few years now. And desperately wants to join the circus!

J.

Sooo.....

via Pinterest

Well, we still have no news from Services Canada. 

It's actually easier to 'wait' over the weekend. When we know we are not meant to hear anything we can just get on with living and do our best to enjoy the days. Sunshine and playgrounds and family time. Lovely.
Last night I felt the stress levels rise in my body in anticipation. Today is Tuesday night in Canada and we could have woken up to an email from the lawyer this morning. Could have.

Instead we woke to silence. Again.

By the time Mr Poppet has checked his emails in the morning, he has a tension headache which settles in for the rest of the week. He has to turn up to work and field the constant question "any news?" and attempt to do a productive day of work in an office he should have left a month ago.
This truly is a bizarre time. We are in contact with various real estate agents and landlords in Toronto as we attempt to secure housing. They ask us when we're likely to be in Toronto. We just don't have an answer.

These government departments with their red tape and their unwillingness to say anything more than it's "in process" are messing with people's lives. There must be hundreds of people around the world in similar circumstances to us. We are all drifting from moment to moment, unable to plan or make any real progress.

Our life is certainly that way at the moment. A mess. 

Husband is now doing the hour and a half commute to and from work every day via various means of public transport (he usually rides a pushbike). Poppet and I are spending the days finding things to do. She is no longer in school (though a break from that is really ok, she's exhausted) and clings to me throughout the day. She is literally clinging to my right arm as I type these words. I haven't touched a sewing machine in months and am feeling very unproductive and frustrated.

Boy am I glad I started this blog. Who knew I would need it just to vent!

We have done this expat thing before, but haven't experienced such a crazy backwards way of doing things. We didn't expect to be living with family for more than a few days and we're halfway through week two. In fact, 'family' have gone on a holiday to Europe and we are living in their house without them.

Poppet and I are off to the zoo today. I just can't handle seeing any familiar faces. I can't handle being asked if there's "any news" and I need to pretend that we are just on holidays. When we lived in Brazil and the stress and unfamiliarity became too much I would send the nanny home early, shut the blinds and put on a Disney movie. I would pretend I was back home, just watching a movie with my kid. Not in some crazy foreign country, speaking a different language all day and struggling to find a vegetable peeler! This is how I feel right now. I want to find a cardboard box and climb inside until the whole thing blows over.

I can fool myself for a while. But the whole thing starts again as the sun sets and we anticipate an email in the morning.

When will this ever end? Your guess is as good as mine.

J.

Sweet Dreams Are NOT Made Of This.

Scene:

A country estate somewhere in the UK Perhaps this one...

image from here

The grounds are set up for a function; marquees and trestle tables.

I am dressed in black and white, with a waistcoat and tie. I am ready to serve guests at this swanky affair.

I stand by a white cloth-covered table, joking with my nameless friends. The table is set with all sorts of silver cutlery, serving spoons and jugs. Crystal glasses twinkle in the candlelight.

*shift*

I am running through a garden maze in the dark. It must be on the estate grounds somewhere.

image via here

I am terrified. My breath is coming out in white puffs because it's so cold. My heart is pounding in my chest.

I am being chased by something, I can hear it just behind me. Just around the last corner. It is getting closer.

I wake up. 

This it the recurrent nightmare I had from about the age of 7 to 15. It never changed, not one iota. The creature chasing me was definitely a werewolf. I woke in terror as a child, and needed to see my mother, but would be unable to get out of bed because the werewolf was underneath it. As I got older, I found I was able to leap from my bed to the doorway of my bedroom, thus avoiding the grabbing paws from under my bed. But then I had to make it to my parent's room at the other end of the house. I would creep through the family room, past the kitchen and then stop at the entrance to the hallway which led to my parent's room. This hallway was open on one side to the formal living room. It was the toughest part of the journey. I would hesitate before the long hall for what felt like hours, until I found the strength to race on my toes to mum's bedside.

Eventually I was able to resettle myself. I found that my teddybear was just the right size to cover the exposed skin on my neck, protecting it from possible vampire bites. 

Sorted.

Even the word 'nightmare' reminds me of my childhood dreams. It's interesting that I can remember every frame, as if it was a movie. This is an interesting article about why we have nightmares.

I don't have this dream anymore, though of course I still have nightmares from time to time. Poppet has been having a spate of bad dreams lately, who can blame her! Everything is unsettled and a little crazy in her life as we wait for those blessed documents from Services Canada. We are pushing things close to the limit at the moment, but we firmly believe that change is a good thing. Character building and all that.

image via pinterest

Poppet has always had a bedroom close to ours, I guess because she's an only child. That will certainly make her nighttime journeys for solace easier than mine. 

Of course, I usually end up going to her. I've always found her mattress pretty comfortable anyway.

Does a particular dream from childhood still haunt you? I'd love you to share.

J.

Idle, Limbo and Me.

Meet my new friends;

Idle...

•  (of a person) Spend time doing nothing; be idle

• Move aimlessly or lazily 

and Limbo...

• An uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition

• A state of neglect or oblivion

Idle, Limbo and Me.

We like to hang out. We're getting to know each other rather well lately. Possibly the relationship has become a little more intimate than expected,  but that's expatting for you.

No news from Services Canada, other than to say that we've been appointed a File Manager. Our file is finally being expedited. Along with all the others. Who knows how many poor sods around the world are waiting upon the 'services' of Services Canada. No doubt they feel the same deep feelings of stress and inertia that our family is experiencing right now. 

via Pinterest

But we won't give up. We're too heavily committed. One day we will wake to an email from the immigration lawyer in Toronto to say we are cleared to travel. 

I just hope that happens before the first snows!

J.